Having trouble sleeping? Doctors say choosing the right bedtime matters more than you think

As a lifelong night owl, I’ve spent years bargaining with my bedtime. The math seems simple: I’m up at 6:00 a.m. to get my kids to school, so lights out at 10:00 p.m. should lock in eight hours of sleep. My internal clock’s response to all that planning? “Yeah … nope.” When my head hits the pillow at 10:00, I’m inevitably left counting sheep until 11:00 or 11:30, at the earliest.

Turns out, the math doesn’t quite math. “Most people work backward from when they need to wake up and assume they need eight hours of sleep, but very rarely does that actually work,” says Daniella Marchetti, PhD, a clinical health psychologist and behavioral sleep medicine specialist.

So how do you get enough sleep when your schedule and your body clock want different things? It takes some jiggering.

How to find your ideal bedtime

Everyone’s circadian rhythm is a little different, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” bedtime, but some factors help predict when you’re likely to start getting drowsy. “Most people’s circadian rhythms are aligned with the rise and fall of the sun, since light is one of the most powerful zeitgebers — external cues that help set and shift our internal clock,” says Dr. Jennifer So, a pulmonologist and sleep medicine physician at University of Maryland Medical Center Midtown Campus.

Age plays a role too. You might start fading by 9:00 p.m., while your teenager doesn’t wind down until much later. “Circadian rhythms also shift across the lifespan — adolescence, for example, brings a natural delay that favors later sleep and wake times,” So says.

If you’ve been trying to prioritize sleep but can’t seem to nail down the right schedule, Dr. Ruchir Patel, founder of The Insomnia and Sleep Institute of Arizona, suggests thinking about when you naturally fall asleep and wake up on weekends or vacations, particularly “when [you] have no responsibilities or reasons to have to wake the next morning at a specific time.” If you can’t remember the last time you had a stretch like that, he suggests trying it for a few nights with some ground rules that remove things that can artificially shift your sleep timing:

• No alarm clock
• No caffeine after 3:00 p.m.
• No naps
• No sedating or activating substances that could artificially make you drowsy or keep you up in the evening
• Make sure you get at least six to seven hours of sleep the night before

Then pay attention to when you naturally get drowsy and when you wake up. The first night or two may be muddy, but after a few nights, you should start to see a pattern. “I have done this personally and have noted that my natural bedtime is about 9:00 p.m. and my natural wake time is around 4:30-5:00 a.m.,” Patel says. That works out to about 7.5-8 hours of sleep. Your own clock times will likely differ, so the number to take away is how much sleep you naturally get. Once you know that, count back from the time you need to wake up to set a realistic bedtime.

How much sleep do you actually need?

In a 2015 joint consensus statement, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) and the Sleep Research Society recommend that healthy adults get seven or more hours of sleep per night to promote optimal health. The statement also notes “substantial intra- and inter-individual variation,” meaning the exact amount you need may vary. “A simple gauge is how you feel during the day — you should feel refreshed and alert, without needing daily naps just to function,” So says.

If you’re consistently getting seven hours but still feel drained, your body may need more. On the flip side, if you regularly sleep fewer than six hours and feel great, you could be a rare “natural short sleeper” with short sleeper syndrome. Just know that most people who think they’re fine on less than seven hours of sleep actually aren’t. Over time, you stop feeling as sleepy, but your performance keeps slipping. It’s best to aim for that 7+ hour sweet spot, and if you’re not sure exactly how many zzz’s you’re logging, a smartwatch or ring can shed light on your general sleep patterns.

Which matters more, bedtime or total hours?

It’s a bit of a chicken-or-the-egg question. Both matter, but so does sleep quality, which is independent of bedtime and hours logged sleeping. “Both are important, but going to bed at the right time sets you up for the right sleep duration. If you go to bed before you’re sleepy or way past the point of sleepiness, you’re more likely to experience fragmented sleep, multiple wake-ups or spend more time awake in bed,” says Marchetti.

Figure out how much sleep your body needs to feel restored, then aim for a bedtime that lets you fall asleep easily and log those hours. The tricky part is when your schedule doesn’t cooperate.

When your body clock and schedule don’t match

Fortunately, there are ways to gradually shift your internal clock, but they require time and intention. “Someone trying to shift their body clock earlier may benefit from morning light and less bright light in the evening, whereas a night-shift worker may need to keep their environment dark in the morning to help their body adjust to sleeping during the day,” says Marchetti.

If your sleep patterns are significantly affecting your day-to-day, you may be dealing with a circadian rhythm disorder. It’s worth talking to your doc to get a more personalized prescription for making a shift. “Treatment typically involves gradually shifting the circadian rhythm under a provider’s guidance, often using a combination of light therapy, melatonin and a strict, consistent schedule,” says So.

What to do if you can’t fall asleep

The last thing you want to do when you can’t fall asleep is lie there getting more anxious with every passing minute. “It’s best to get out of bed and only return once you feel genuinely sleepy again, avoiding bright light and stimulating activity in the meantime,” says So, adding, “Lying in bed tossing and turning for a prolonged period can actually cause or worsen insomnia by training the brain to associate the bed with wakefulness and frustration.”

If you’re sleepy but your mind is racing, Dr. Carlos Nunez, chief medical officer at ResMed, suggests giving it something easy to latch onto. “Give your brain something simple to focus on that doesn’t require actual problem-solving,” he says. “One technique I’ve tried is choosing a word and then naming objects that start with each letter of that word. It’s a very simple exercise, but it gives your brain something neutral to focus on.”

If trouble falling asleep is a persistent problem that has lasted at least a month, Marchetti suggests seeking a therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I). This can help “with sleep-onset issues by adjusting your time-in-bed window until your sleepiness better aligns with that window,” she says.

How to help your body and bedtime align

It takes a bit of work, but you can slowly adjust your internal clock to better match your schedule-required sleep and wake times.

✅ Keep the same wake time every day, weekends included

“Regularity is one of the strongest tools for keeping the circadian rhythm and sleep schedule in sync,” says So. Especially in the winter when days are shorter and darker, tools like sunrise alarm clocks, particularly those with built-in sleep programs to help you wind down at night and gradually wake up with light in the morning, can be a helpful tool to keep you on schedule.

✅ Get light in the morning, and dim the lights at night

As So pointed out, natural light is one of the best signals to wake up in the morning, and, conversely, blocking out light is one of the best ways to help your body start winding down at night. “Getting light in the morning, limiting light exposure late in the evening … can all help reinforce that rhythm,” says Nunez.

If you’re in a situation where the sun’s rise and set times don’t align with your wake and sleep times, tools like light boxes and blackout curtains can help create the light or dark environment your body needs to support its systems.

✅ Keep the bedroom dark, cool and quiet

Making sleep hygiene a priority is a must for promoting sleep. So says to make your room a sanctuary for sleep and sex only (no work!), and that it’s important to keep it dark and cool — ideally between 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit. In addition to investing in high-quality blackout curtains, incorporating cooling sheets, a fan and a sleep mask might help.

✅ Use a tracker for trends, not verdicts

“I’m an avid wearable user myself, and I like being able to look at these patterns: when am I going to sleep, when am I waking up, and how consistent am I? That information can help you better understand your patterns,” says Nunez. Just keep in mind it’s all just information — it doesn’t have day-to-day context or other personal insights that help explain trends. Consider the data alongside other factors like stress levels, illness or workload, all of which can impact sleep.

When to see a sleep specialist

While you might be able to make moderate changes to your circadian rhythm and sleep schedule on your own, if you’re consistently exhausted or feel that your health is being affected by poor sleep, it might be time to consult a specialist. “Other signs, like loud snoring or waking up gasping for air, could point to an underlying sleep disorder like sleep apnea. Because these disruptions happen while you’re asleep, some people may not realize they’re happening at all,” says Nunez. As Marchetti so distinctly puts it, “You don’t want to be struggling with sleep for months when it’s something we can diagnose and treat.”

Meet our experts

• Jennifer So, MD, pulmonologist and sleep medicine physician at University of Maryland Medical Center Midtown Campus and assistant professor of medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine
• Daniella Marchetti, PhD, DBSM, clinical health psychologist, behavioral sleep medicine specialist and sleep advisor for Mattress Firm
• Ruchir Patel, MD, FACP, board-certified in sleep, internal and obesity medicine and founder of The Insomnia and Sleep Institute of Arizona
• Carlos Nunez, MD, chief medical officer at Resmed

Our health content is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional medical advice. Consult a medical professional on questions about your health.