I wasn’t allowed a smartphone until I was 16. I can’t thank my parents enough.

When I tell my peers that I didn’t get my first smartphone until I was 16, their jaws drop. My parents had a hard-and-fast rule for me and my siblings that we could get a phone only when it became necessary – which in my case was when I got my driver’s license. 

I resented this rule. It was embarrassing to admit to new friends that I didn’t have a phone number, a Snapchat account or even Instagram. When I got my first job, I couldn’t text my boss when I had questions or even tune in to the employee group chat. I never heard the trending songs or understood the latest internet jokes.

So when I bought my first iPhone 7 Plus, I was elated to finally “get it.” I told my parents I was very excited to use Apple Maps to stay safe on the road. 

Still, I didn’t engage with technology like my peers did. I didn’t get a laptop until I was a senior in high school, nor did I have social media or even YouTube on my phone until I had graduated. I was allowed to get an Instagram account when I turned 18, but I delayed it several months because I knew I would spend too much time on it. Spoiler alert: I did.

I wasted hours on Instagram. Now I don’t miss it.

Plus, I knew I had to get an Instagram account when I began college. No one asks for your phone number anymore – Gen Z prefers to communicate via Snapchat selfies or Instagram Reels. The first few months of college brought in hundreds of new Instagram friends, most of whom I never spoke to again after that first exchange of social media handles. 

I wasted hours on Instagram. Although it thankfully didn’t have any significant effect on my self-esteem or body image, it certainly damaged my productivity. A five-minute study break would turn into a half hour of scrolling. The Reels algorithm knew me too well.

I decided to give up Instagram for Lent. When I told a friend of mine, she was shocked: “You mean you’re just not going to look at it for a month? I could never do that.” 

I did take a month off, and it was great. Then I returned to my normal Instagram use, even with the nagging knowledge that it wasn’t good for me. I kept telling myself that I would delete it eventually: when I graduated college, when I got married, when I had a family. I told a friend that I would delete it when it was “time to grow up.”

Last Christmas, I realized that it made no sense to keep hanging on to something I planned to cut off, so I deleted my entire account in a spur-of-the-moment impulse. It was a great choice. I don’t miss it. 

Surgeon general calls for warning labels on social media

I’m luckier than many of my fellow members of Generation Z, spanning from 1997 to 2012, because I wasn’t raised on the internet. In fact, I wasn’t allowed to access the internet recreationally on the family computer until I was 13. I hated it at the time; now, I’m beyond grateful.

My generation is the first to grow up alongside the digital world, which has stunted us in undeniable ways. There is no shortage of evidence of social media’s negative effects on mental health, even leading Surgeon General Vivek Murthy to call for warning labels on such platforms.

Research has found links between excessive internet use and mental health disorders, most notably anxiety and depression, time and time again.

Furthermore, a 2023 study found that increased screen time before age 5 is associated with higher risk of developmental delays, including deficiencies in communication, problem-solving and fine motor skills. 

Did I sometimes feel left out because I wasn’t “plugged in” to the internet as a child and adolescent? Of course. However, at 20, I seem to have a much healthier relationship with the internet than many of my peers. I didn’t have trouble deleting Instagram, and I’m perhaps unreasonably proud that I’ve never been on TikTok.

My parents graciously encouraged me to spend my free time pursuing hobbies, helping me discover my love of theater, singing, playing the piano and reading, all of which keep me from staring at my phone too much.

By contrast, even though hobbies have been linked to improved mood, greater life satisfaction and less stress, 74% of Gen Z prefers to spend their free time online, according to UNiDAYS. This only contributes to the mental health crisis of the young. 

In 2024, it’s impossible to not be online. My school requires an app to do laundry, for goodness’ sake. I’m certainly not perfect, especially since YouTube decided to recommend dozens of shark videos to me.

Still, I credit my parents’ rules and guidelines for proper internet use with my positive relationship with the internet today.

One day, I will place the same restrictions on my kids if possible so they can develop more meaningful in-person connections, good quality sleep and healthy attention spans. Children deserve to grow up in the real world.