Why You Should Embrace the Emerson Way of Self-Reliance

In high school, I was tasked with finding lines for my senior quotes in the yearbook and felt completely lost. I borrowed a giant book of quotes from the library, began paging through it and kept coming back to a section by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Everything he wrote spoke to me and hit a note. I became fascinated with his essays and remain so to this day.

For the uninformed, Emerson was a Harvard educated philosopher, writer, and abolitionist from the 19th century who made a tremendous impact on culture in the United States. Friedrich Nietzsche even said he was, “The most gifted of the Americans.”

But specifically, his way of approaching life carries tremendous utility. This is how my life has been impacted, and how scientific research, and Emerson’s own words have aligned for a great path forward.

The power of self-sufficiency

When I was young, I dreaded doing chores and homework like clockwork each night. And, because my dad was a SEAL, making the bed was an especially big deal, and demanded perfection. Minor wrinkles and loose edges mandated a redo.

I was too immature to get it at the time, but my folks were preparing me to function on my own, to be independent when they could no longer watch over me. They knew that discipline and attention-to-detail would be so critical.

This was a central tenet of Emerson’s approach to life: to reach a stage where you don’t constantly need other people’s help. Achieving independence was seen as a divine and all-powerful act. He wrote in his famed essay, Self-Reliance, “Man is his own star; and the soul that can
render an honest and a perfect man.”

He meant that all of the stability and chaos in the universe of your life, is a product of your own making. You are your own North Star, and thus you should decide where to follow it. Taking ownership of this, regardless of whether it might feel fair or not, can give you the cascading benefits of independence.

Science lends credence to this. For example, researchers at Erasmus University found that the young adults most vulnerable to depression and substance abuse were those who were the least self-sufficient. Those who held down jobs, even if they didn’t like those jobs, still produced better outcomes for themselves because they felt a sense of purpose and were better able to meet their obligations.

Which I would remind to those people who feel down on their station and feel they aren’t as successful as they think they should be. You still deserve great credit for contributing and being independent. And if you aren’t — let that be your next goal.

The flexible mind enables a thriving life

So many people, especially online users, speak with such conviction, and certainty about things. It pains me that it feels like a sin to show nuance and doubt about what we think and feel.

This type of mentality undermines our efficiency in life, and traps us in narrow ways of thinking. Sadly, it even feels like a sign of weakness to change your mind, especially in the public sphere, hence many politicians being reticent to do so.

Per Emerson — it is precisely the opposite. One exorcises their ego and demonstrates maturity by being willing to change their view of something important to them. Per Emerson, a consistency of thought is a trend and malady of little minds.

Specifically, you should believe that you are capable of changing your mindset. Per a study at Stanford University, that belief is a precondition that is shown to help you change when it is needed, and which will help you live better.

Very often, this change can attract the other changes you desire, bringing people who align with this new thinking, and who have shared values, into your life. This all feeds back into the principle of self-sufficiency. It’s as Emerson wrote, “But I make my own circumstances. If I make a change in my dominant thoughts or motives, a change in my situation and surroundings will soon follow.”

Speak as it actually is, not as you wish it

Emerson believed that speaking the truth created a necessary “State of war.” And it was a war that is too rarely waged within us.

Whether it is the fear of the truth in ourselves, or the fear of upsetting others, people are proven to lie constantly — even in everyday conversation.

But to be self-reliant as Emerson demands, we must have the courage to speak these difficult truths, with kindness, when it matters. After all, How can you become happy when you are afraid to confront the source of your misery? Call things what they are, and what is plain to see, and so hard to speak of. See yourself for who you truly are, not as others decide, or as your insecurities demand.

Constant lying is linked to stress and lowered wellbeing. It creates a contradiction, a “war” Emerson speaks of, within you, and only by seeing and speaking truth can you find peace and be free. When we avoid the truth, we allow the war to rage about unfettered.

The power of total immersion

While swimming competitively growing up, I loathed going to practice. I saw it as mundane and repetitive. I spent an hour and a half staring at the bottom of the pool everyday, realizing that other boys were out playing soccer and having the time of their lives.

As I entered high school, that loathing only grew. I resented that swimming was the only sport I had any real talent for. And this attitude showed itself in competition. My times weren’t great and I wasn’t performing well. But I knew that if I didn’t swim, I’d have to get a job, and this was the better of two options. I had a prisoner mentality.

One day, something clicked in my head and I realized, “You know what — if I’m going to do something anyways, why not devote myself to it.” And unknowingly, I’d tapped into one of Emerson’s key points about life — that we cannot succeed with only partial commitment, which perhaps informed one of his most famous lines, which has appeared on many classroom posters, “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

Moreover, he added that it’s passion, above all else, that will give you “eternal causation” — meaning motivation and a calm understanding that you’re doing the right thing in life. In absence of that passion, the world becomes a husk of itself, including of ourselves and our competencies.

After devoting myself to swimming, suddenly swimming practice became less about “getting through it” and more about, “How can I maximize this training?” The practices few by. I stopped resenting them. I became more intentional. My performance improved massively.

Rather than think, “I have to swim.” I reframed it to, “I get to swim.”

Total immersion, whether it is your job, playing checkers, or nearly anything, will bring much more satisfaction. For example, passion is proven to increase worker productivity, wellbeing, and lower stress. You have nothing to lose by diving in.

Even if you are a low-ranking customer service rep, make it your goal to be the absolute best rep, who sends customers home happier than when they came in. I suspect your day will go much smoother than it will with you sitting and resenting your station in life.

Tying it all together

My hope is that each of you develops conviction for everything you do in life, no matter how mundane it might seem. Take pride in immersing yourself fully in these tasks, and in the moment. Relish the achievement of independence, as this freedom is not afforded to or sought by all.

Have the courage to tell the truth to yourself and others on this journey, and to do so with kindness, as Emerson would have wanted of you.

And have the audacity to change your mind when evidence is presented that flies in the face of all you hold dear. This ability to change your mind can impact many life outcomes and, above all, your happiness.

Do these things, and you will be living in the Emersonian view of self-sufficiency.